Tuesday, February 26, 2008

CANCER does not kill, it pushes us to live

Watching Oprah last night, inspired me to write about Chris Carr, a model who was diagnosed with the 4th stage breast cancer, predicted to live no longer than 6 months BUT managed to put a fight to this deadly disease.Instead of giving up, leaving the doctor to continue with their predictions, she chose to push herself to stay breathing.She passed those predicted months, got married to her love one and still breathing healthily. The cancer is still with her , spreading to other parts of the body but now remain steadily, not wanting to spread anymore. No explanations to the situations but doctors believed her courage and positive thinking had saved her.Cancer spread faster when the depression gets higher.

I had passed my years seeing a few of my friends and colleagues died of cancer. Kamarul was one of them. He was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer. He thought he was strong enough to face the fact when the doctor broke the news...but as he reached home, he cried and asked God, Why him? Chriss had her own say,' Why not her? Why not you?you? and you?Why not me?
Kamarul told me her sister promised to sponsor him a Europe trip, should he not give up.He was very determined. I asked him to be strong...what else can I do? I visited him a few times in HUKM . After months of not seeing him, my mom cried on the phone, my sister had brain tumor.I was shocked....all my life I had never expected anybody in my family to have a tumor , but my sister did and it's right at the end root of her brain. She was admitted in HUKM also and was just waiting for her operation to come. I was scared she'll die on the table. But what else can I do ? She was losing her balance, her eyesight. I sacrificed my time as much as I could to visit her and called all my brothers to come down to KL,to be on her side in case this is going to be our last time to see her. To cut short the story.... my sister survived the operation with a little damage to her nerves and we are still pushing ourselves to make sure she stay alive and healthy.

Back to Kamarul, I met him again in HUKM while visiting my sister. I almost not noticing him. He was on his wheelchair pushed by his wife ....... he was very skinny and bald caused by the kimo. I talked to him, he expressed his frustration that he might not be cured any more. Again I asked him not to give up. I was told by his father, his cancer had reached the 4 th stage. After the meeting we sms ed each other a few times. His last message was to get my help to get in touch to a friend, the wife of the Director of HUKM ( Datin Rokiah) to thank her and her husband for helping him and giving the best service in HUKM. I was busy but promised him that I will call Datin as soon as possible. I actually never get to keep my promise as Kamarul passed away the next day.
Kamarul's death wasn't the first and wasn't the last I heard. Few months after that, my ex-principal Puan Rohani, died of lymphoma cancer too and last few weeks, I lost another friend a 'cleaner' in my school. She died of colon cancer.

What else can I say. Eventually we will die someday.

Al-Fatihah to Allahyarham Kamarol and Allahyarhamah Pn Rohani, Kak Ton and Kak Lin. May All of you rest in peace.